Part of my story

  I'll just say upfront that I have no idea what I am going to write tonight.  I just have a strong desire to write something.  I have inspiring classical music coming in through my headphones.  All of the small children are in bed.  I can hear my husband and oldest daughter laughing and enjoying their relaxing evening watching Netflix.  With every passing moment, memories are being made.

  As I type my mind is filled with thoughts of the future.  Will my children one day read about these seemingly insignificant details and it will be a treasure to them?  I write with this purpose in mind.  I suppose I want to go on being known and have my story be told.  I do wish I were better at telling my story.  There is often much I'd prefer to leave out or hide.  There is much I can never...will never speak of.  Does every parent feel that way?  

  I know all people sin but is it possible for my precious children to grow up, become parents, and not have much to be ashamed to tell their kids?  Can they, by God's grace and help, keep themselves from committing shameful sins that will leave scars and deep regret? I hope it is possible.  I am confident that Jesus heals.  He has healed me.  But I just hope he won't have too much work to do on them!  Oh, that they would walk in wisdom and in the fear of the Lord!  

  Sure, I try to be transparent and tell my children about some of the foolish choices I've made.  But there is much that I withhold.  There is much that is painful for me to even remember, much less tell my children.  And I know I don't need to tell them everything.  Yes, I think I am content with letting the past just stay in the past. For the most part.

  I am a redeemed soul.  I've been given new life in Christ.  I think that is the best part of the story anyway.  Who needs to get bogged down with too many messy details.